Insta-Yogi?

When I began my practice, I didn't intend on posting everything about it on social media. It all began with 30 days of yoga. That initial post about it was just my excitement for returning to something I always liked but never considered it a part of my life. But, I realized making it public held me accountable. I wasn't about to start something and not finish it, especially when I told the world I was going to do it. Thirty days became a practice, practice became joining teacher training, and now here I am. Seeing other yogis on social media and made me even more inspired. To see what my body was capable of and to explore my mental capabilities became that much more appealing. I didn't realize that a year and a half later I would still be just as inspired by my practice as I did that very first day on my mat.

Social media gets a lot of shit. And believe it or not, it happens in the yoga world, also. I've seen things referring to  "insta-yogis", people who brag about their practice and don't really embrace the yoga lifestyle. I've also read about how posting all of these difficult postures and picturesque landscapes are just "showing off". That it creates an impossible ideal for beginner yogis or people who don't know much about the practice. In a way, I see that. It's just like seeing a bikini model that has been photoshopped and painted to look a certain way. The impact that that has on someone who might look at that and feel like they need to look just like that can be devastating on one's self-esteem.

 If I could send one message to people who have never tried yoga or who are  just starting their practice, it would be this: poses and postures (asana) are just one part of yoga. There is so much more to it than that.  When you see these photos of things that just look too difficult to do, it has come from a lot of practice and dedication. Doing a handstand doesn't make you a better yogi than the person who only meditates. Posing in front of a waterfall doesn't make you a better yogi than the yogi who practices at home. Wearing overly priced leggings on an overly priced may doesn't make you a better yogi than the one who practices in their sweats on the ground. Yoga is so much more than that it is a lifestyle and a way of life. I hope that what you see will inspire you and give you something to look forward to.

Rather than be discouraged, I feel motivated when I see those photos. When I read about those yogis and their journey, I feel like there is people out there just like me. When I post about my practice, I do not do it for attention or for likes. In fact, I am more then flattered when somebody makes a nice comment or tells me that they want to try yoga, too. Taping and photographing my practice helps me document how far I've come. It shows me what I could work on, and where I want to be. This practice is so beautiful and has brought so much positivity to my life, I am excited to share it with everyone willing to let me. So if posting about it makes me an "insta-yogi", then so be it. 

                    

Feeding the Need

Last night was the first guided class I've taken in 41 days. You might ask, "Who is counting?" I sure was! I was in the studio at least 3 days a week before the move, and I was dying to get back into a normal practice. I still haven't made the time to check out local studios where I live. But I finally got my ass back in the gym (actually my boyfriend did, I'm sure he was tired of hearing me complain about feeling sluggish). Since there's so many locations around us, I can find one near home or in whatever area I'm working in that day. 

The upside is they offer all kinds of classes, including yoga! The downside is that there aren't very many available for me to take. And the ones that are are during my work hours, so I may only be able to get to one a week. For now, I'll take it! I went to one Wednesday night and it was awesome! It was a little different than I was used to. Funny how you get used to things being a certain way. The room wasn't heated and the instructor taught a little differently than I've been conditioned. I also missed the "bliss bombs" I got in my last studio. She kept it mainly about the movement and breath. I really enjoyed that emotional/mental connection from my old instructors. But it was a great class. There were only about ten of us in class, so we had a lot room. It was centered around beginners, but had some challenging asanas, too.

Being bummed about there not being many classes available made me realize that I should really consider teaching. I went through all of that training and getting myself insured, I shouldn't waste it! Maybe I can even get a spot once in a while at the gym! I kinda wanted to talk to the teacher, pick her brain for a bit. But decided not to. Maybe next week. :) 

                    

Reflection: Adjustment

Anytime things change, there is a period of time where one "adjusts". Whether it be a job, a move, a new endeavor, a relationship, you're going to need a little bit of time to process and settle. I feel like I've been in a "period of adjustment" for a long time now. A lot of things have happened in the last couple of years. Most recently, moving from Southern California to the Bay Area, a new job in a field I haven't worked in for two years, and moving in with my boyfriend (mind you, our entire relationship was long-distance). 

So far, it has been an awesome experience. I am really happy with our new place and location. We have been slowly unpacking and picking out things to fill the open spaces. It's been exciting for me to see him everyday. To make plans for the next day rather than a month from now. To do all the mundane things that people take for granted like cooking dinner and grocery shopping together. My new work environment is great, also. I feel like it's going to be a good fit once all of my training is done. I now live less than two hours away from my hometown so I am closer to my friends and family (although I miss you like crazy, SoCal fam!). Also can't be mad about being 20 miles from San Francisco. I am so grateful for all of it. 

Not that it hasn't come with little challenges. I've mentioned before I am a creature of habit, so this giant shift has me really out of whack. We have yet to establish a routine and I'm looking forward to the day all the boxes are out of the living room. Half of my stuff is still in San Diego, I'm anxious to get it all here. My work has me traveling to different offices, including some without parking, so I've had to use BART. For a girl who has rarely ever used public transportation, I thought it would be pretty cool. The novelty quickly wore off after missing trains, running in moments before the doors close and being squished by all the crowds on them. Not to mention the über rude people I've encountered. I'm a slave to my GPS, I have yet to get my bearings in my surroundings. We've been consistently busy with friends and family. It's nice to be so close to my hometown, and there are close friends chomping at the bit to either come visit or have me visit. As much as I want to see everyone and make everyone happy, I am so effing exhausted. I haven't had time to even enjoy our new place. This transition has been taxing physically, financially and emotionally. However, I wouldn't change it for the world. This is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

 

This move, however, has had a big impact on my yoga practice. Going from yoga 6 days a week to one is taking a toll on my body (and sanity). I don't want to lose the strength and stamina I've gained through yoga. I don't have a gym here or made time to work out either. I am starting to feel the laziness take over. I haven't had much time to look for a new studio and I haven't committed the time to home practice. Again, I know this is all part of the process and it will take a while to find a rhythm. 

 

Today is International Yoga Day so it's not a bad day to commit to myself and my practice again. I'm ready to feel settled in. 

(First handstand at our new place!)

Home is Where the Heart is.

I was one of those girls who couldn't wait to get the hell out of their hometown. It isn't that Modesto, California is a bad city. I just always felt like there was something else out there for me. The minute I got my drivers license I was everywhere but in Modesto. Weekend road trips became a regular thing. When an opportunity came up in 2012 to take a job in a tiny town 3 hours away from home, I jumped at the chance.  The place wasn't ideal, but it gave me the opportunity to see what it was like to "be on my own".  Since then, I have changed jobs once, lived in 4 other cities, and moved 7 times! And now I'm getting ready to do it again!

Right before I moved to San Diego (I was living in Bakersfield at the time), I reconnected with a friend who lives in the bay area.  I hadn't spoken to him in over a year. Our families live in the same area, which is how him and I first came to meet. Long story short, our friendship turned into dating long distance.  We have almost 500 miles between us. So that has meant a lot of flying, a lot of driving, a lot of text messages, and phone calls.  It hasn't always been easy. Sometimes it has even been heartbreaking. But a year and a half later we are still going strong. The time has come to no longer have aching goodbyes at airports. To not have to wait weeks at a time to see one another. Because in a couple of weeks, I'm moving to the bay area! We finally get to be together!

This all happened rather quickly... from talking about it to actually executing it. It started as a conversation. There were so many questions. Were we ready to live together? Was I ready to leave San Diego? Where would we live? Would I be able to find a job? I had moved so many times, and each time I hated it. I was tired of moving. I was nervous about looking for work. Then the day came where we decided that it was time. In a matter of a couple of weeks, I had landed a job! This feels like it's happening really fast, because I start in a couple of weeks! So I gotta get my ass up there pretty soon! I am not sure if I have really wrapped my brain about what's all happening, but I have so much faith and know that things are unfolding for me the way they are supposed to. I'm so excited to be with the man I love, return to they type of work I enjoy and be closer to friends and family up north.  

It is bittersweet, though. To leave this beautiful city. Not just because it is "America's Finest City". Not just because this was the place I worked and pushed to live in. But because of the bonds and friendships I have made here. My sister moved not long after I did. She moved for love, too. We had been living in different states, so when she came back and we were in the same city, it was nice to have a familiar face near. I know it will hit me hard when I can't just walk into her house and see her there. Now she is married and they are settled in, so I will always have family here to visit. My comadre and her family are here also, and even though they will be returning to Australia soon, it does make me incredibly sad that I won't have that time with them before they leave. The incredible friends I have made and my yoga family.... I've been avoiding talking about it so I don't bawl my eyes out. You don't always realize the impact people have had on you until you have to leave them. I've had to say a lot of goodbyes in the last four years. It never gets easier and this one might just be the hardest yet. 

I am so incredibly grateful for the time I spent here in San Diego. I leave knowing that I take every experience and memory with me. Pretty soon, I'll have a new area to explore, new people to get to know, new places to stop, drop and yoga. :) I look forward to what the universe has in store for me on this new adventure. This time, however, I'm not alone. I've got company. 

  

BYoga

What does BYoga mean? I've been asked that a few times. So let me explain.

I've gone through two phases with my name. I either hated it or loved it. I used to ask my mom all the time why she named me Brenda. She originally had another name picked out, but we had another relative with the same name, so my parents wanted something "no one else had". As a kid, my name felt un-special. I didn't think it fit me at all. I had cousins with names like "Viviana" and "Fabiola" and they sounded so romantic to me. In the early 90's, it was "Brenda Got a Baby" and "Brenda Got a Big Ol' Butt". Both of which I did not have (still don't, although I wouldn't mind the big butt). Both songs made me hate my name even more. I was either dumb girl who was knocked up or only relevant for my ass. In a very Mexican family, I didn't think my name was "Mexican enough". I didn't like how it sounded in English, either, 'cause it clashed with my last name. Pronouncing it in Spanish meant that everyone said "Brrrrrrenda".  I couldn't make up my mind.

I went through a phase where I was all about it. Six was and still is my favorite number because that's how many letters there are in it.  I used to write it on EVERYTHING. On my notebooks, my backpack, the walls, everything. I looked up what my name meant in every book I could find (this was pre-google, obviously). It means "flaming sword", for those who are curious. Which would may explain my temper and willingness to fight about anything. After high school, people started me calling me "Bren" or just "B". And I preferred it. Some people don't even know my full name is Brenda! When I had to pick a handle for my IG and Twitter accounts, I used one of my favorite hip hop songs, "Brown Skin Lady" and added the "B" to the front of that. At this point in my life, most people close to me call me "Bren" or "B". Few people call me Brenda, I usually hear it at work or in professional settings. I'm perfectly okay with either. :)  

So how does the BYoga come in? I usually add #BYoga after most of my yoga photos. I'm not the only one who uses that hashtag, but I like that I can go back and see my old yoga posts conveniently stored in a little place. Basically, its my first initial with "yoga" after it. What it symbolizes is that, for me, yoga is not just something you do, but something you're being.  It's a practice and a lifestyle (if you so choose). BYoga is "B" (me) practicing yoga. BYoga is anyone practicing yoga. BYoga is anyone who wants to BE a devoted yogi. BYoga is anyone wanting and pushing to BE a better person. BYoga is anyone and everyone! So, if you're practicing and sharing your practice on social media, feel free to use it! I'd love to see! 

Three Women and a Toddler: Days 3&4

Day3:
Saturday we woke up ready to tackle the day. Our first stop was the dam. I had heard there was one there, and on our way to Denny's the night before, we noticed lights from afar and realized we were only a few minutes away from it! We found a vista point that we could park at and thought it would be a quick jump-out-snap-photo moment. Little did we know it was going to be another incredible view! There were stairs leading down and we found out we were looking at Glen Canyon. It was windy, much more than I expected. There were sudden bursts of wind so bad that it would toss up the gravel and we had to shield our faces until it passed. My contact lenses felt like sandpaper every time I blinked! I tried to do a little Stop, Drop and Yoga, but the wind was a little too strong. I'm not known for being the most graceful, so I didn't want to risk falling into the canyon. The view, however, was another stunner.

Marisa thought up the idea to try planking on one another. Thanks to the random guy who took this photo for us!

I am not afraid of heights but this was scary!

After we had our fill of photos (I'm pretty sure we could have stayed longer), we went back to the reservation to see if we could make the tour to Antelope. We were in luck! We had some waiting to do and it was COLD!!! I'm not one to complain about cold weather, I actually prefer it, but man, I was so glad I bought another pair of leggings and a scarf! When we got called for the tour, we piled into the back of a truck that drove us out for what seemed like a really long time. At this point, I didn't know what to expect, I knew it was going to be awesome!

That's supposed to be a bear, not sure I see it...

We walked into a slot in the canyon and from the outside, it didn't seem like there was much to look at. But inside, WOW! When you looked up, you could see these amazing formations cut into the rock by years and years of rainfall. Our tour guide, Kyle, explained that his great grandmother had discovered the canyon. How true that was? I don't know, but it sounded cool. He showed us how to take the best photos using the filter settings on our phones and showing us where to stand to get the best photos. We even got a little yoga time in there. At one point, we had an audience watching us doing our stacked plank pose. It was kind of neat.

The heart of the canyon.

Abraham Lincoln! 

King Kong!

We had a little audience! Can you spot the toddler?

The entire tour lasted a little over an hour because of all the photo taking and stopping to talk, although it would probably only take about 15 minutes to walk through and back. There was actually quite a lot of people there, considering it was not peak season and not the best weather, I couldn't imagine what it's like when its busy! I can't believe how beautiful the formations and crevices in the rock looked. It's amazing what Mother Nature does.

The only sunbeam I caught!

"Let me help you." - Ani

The ride back.

We had seen what we came to see in Arizona (or so we thought) and we were ready to make our way to Las Vegas to visit my best friend, Wendy. It worked out perfect to stay at her house Saturday night so it would break up our long-ass drive. It also would give me a reason to see her and her gorgeous new baby. Somewhere along the way, we took a different highway that backtracked us just a bit. We didn't know this at the time, but I am so glad it did! The drive to Nevada ended up being an adventure in itself! We ended up driving over a bridge and seeing another beautiful view of the Colorado River, we had to stop, of course! We found out it was Marble Canyon and the bridge across was called the Navajo Bridge. There was a pedestrian bridge that we walked across and got some amazing photos! 

We had lunch at the Navajo Bridge before hitting the road again, only to stop a short drive after. We came across these giant boulders on the side of the road and realized they were little houses! Travelers used to stop here as far back as the 30's and sleep in them! Crazy. 

Crazier still, was the change in scenery as we entered the Kaibab National Forest. At first, it didn't look much different other than rocky terrain, then we were surrounded by pine trees as far as the eyes could see! It was kind of nice that we were the only car on the road for miles because we stopped right in the middle of it to look at a pair of deer grazing. I looked over and saw a white patch on the ground and said "Is that snow??" And then, it was everywhere!! I couldn't believe it! Guess who pulled over, again?

The last thing I thought I would be seeing on this trip is snow. I hadn't seen snow in such a long time, it was like being a kid again. Snowballs, snowmen, and handstands followed. Passed into Utah for a short time, it was getting dark, so the sign passing through Colorado City was the only thing I really got to see. Drove back into Arizona before getting to Nevada. Wendy and her husband Brent were up when we arrived after 11pm and we caught up a bit before calling it a night. I could have stayed up talking to Wendy all night. We used to live a house away from one another since the age of 5, and we both moved away in 2012 so we don't see one another as often as we'd like to.

Day4:

Sunday morning, Wendy came with us to breakfast where we pigged out. We had to commemorate the third state we visited on this trip so we said our goodbyes to Wendy (A thank you to her and her fam for letting us crash!) and headed to the Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign. The weather was sunny and warm, unlike Arizona and there was a line (as usual) to take photos. When it was our turn, the super nice guy taking photos took one of our phones and started shooting. We tried to get into our plank pose, and it just wasn't sticking. We fell twice! The photographer came over and was like "You're going to get this!' and a women from the line came over and offered to help hoist Tess on top of me! Now, that's teamwork! We got our photo, took a few extra and made our way, dirty and sweaty back to the car. Hey, we did it! 

                        That Nevada air is dry! Haha

Thanks to this random lady for the leg up.

Finally on the road home, I had to stop and take a photo on Zzyzx Road in the Mojave Desert. It's a lonely road off of Interstate 15. Known mostly for it's odd name (pronounced zy-zex). I have actually stopped and taken photos here before (click here to see those photos) and thought this would be the perfect opportunity to recreate it with my road dawgs. 

That face... <3

The family that yogas together...

I feel extremely blessed to have gone on this trip with these women and my little guy. My comadre plans on returning to Australia to be closer to her family, so I won't be able to easily see my godson. It's these types of moments that I am so, so grateful for. 

Three women and a toddler. Over 1,400 miles driven. Went from the beach to the desert to the forest to the mountains. Met awesome strangers and reconnected with my oldest friend. We had sun, wind, rain, hail and even snow. All of this in 4 days! It sure did feel good to be home, but I brought home the memories of a lifetime.