Home is Where the Heart is.

I was one of those girls who couldn't wait to get the hell out of their hometown. It isn't that Modesto, California is a bad city. I just always felt like there was something else out there for me. The minute I got my drivers license I was everywhere but in Modesto. Weekend road trips became a regular thing. When an opportunity came up in 2012 to take a job in a tiny town 3 hours away from home, I jumped at the chance.  The place wasn't ideal, but it gave me the opportunity to see what it was like to "be on my own".  Since then, I have changed jobs once, lived in 4 other cities, and moved 7 times! And now I'm getting ready to do it again!

Right before I moved to San Diego (I was living in Bakersfield at the time), I reconnected with a friend who lives in the bay area.  I hadn't spoken to him in over a year. Our families live in the same area, which is how him and I first came to meet. Long story short, our friendship turned into dating long distance.  We have almost 500 miles between us. So that has meant a lot of flying, a lot of driving, a lot of text messages, and phone calls.  It hasn't always been easy. Sometimes it has even been heartbreaking. But a year and a half later we are still going strong. The time has come to no longer have aching goodbyes at airports. To not have to wait weeks at a time to see one another. Because in a couple of weeks, I'm moving to the bay area! We finally get to be together!

This all happened rather quickly... from talking about it to actually executing it. It started as a conversation. There were so many questions. Were we ready to live together? Was I ready to leave San Diego? Where would we live? Would I be able to find a job? I had moved so many times, and each time I hated it. I was tired of moving. I was nervous about looking for work. Then the day came where we decided that it was time. In a matter of a couple of weeks, I had landed a job! This feels like it's happening really fast, because I start in a couple of weeks! So I gotta get my ass up there pretty soon! I am not sure if I have really wrapped my brain about what's all happening, but I have so much faith and know that things are unfolding for me the way they are supposed to. I'm so excited to be with the man I love, return to they type of work I enjoy and be closer to friends and family up north.  

It is bittersweet, though. To leave this beautiful city. Not just because it is "America's Finest City". Not just because this was the place I worked and pushed to live in. But because of the bonds and friendships I have made here. My sister moved not long after I did. She moved for love, too. We had been living in different states, so when she came back and we were in the same city, it was nice to have a familiar face near. I know it will hit me hard when I can't just walk into her house and see her there. Now she is married and they are settled in, so I will always have family here to visit. My comadre and her family are here also, and even though they will be returning to Australia soon, it does make me incredibly sad that I won't have that time with them before they leave. The incredible friends I have made and my yoga family.... I've been avoiding talking about it so I don't bawl my eyes out. You don't always realize the impact people have had on you until you have to leave them. I've had to say a lot of goodbyes in the last four years. It never gets easier and this one might just be the hardest yet. 

I am so incredibly grateful for the time I spent here in San Diego. I leave knowing that I take every experience and memory with me. Pretty soon, I'll have a new area to explore, new people to get to know, new places to stop, drop and yoga. :) I look forward to what the universe has in store for me on this new adventure. This time, however, I'm not alone. I've got company. 

  

BYoga

What does BYoga mean? I've been asked that a few times. So let me explain.

I've gone through two phases with my name. I either hated it or loved it. I used to ask my mom all the time why she named me Brenda. She originally had another name picked out, but we had another relative with the same name, so my parents wanted something "no one else had". As a kid, my name felt un-special. I didn't think it fit me at all. I had cousins with names like "Viviana" and "Fabiola" and they sounded so romantic to me. In the early 90's, it was "Brenda Got a Baby" and "Brenda Got a Big Ol' Butt". Both of which I did not have (still don't, although I wouldn't mind the big butt). Both songs made me hate my name even more. I was either dumb girl who was knocked up or only relevant for my ass. In a very Mexican family, I didn't think my name was "Mexican enough". I didn't like how it sounded in English, either, 'cause it clashed with my last name. Pronouncing it in Spanish meant that everyone said "Brrrrrrenda".  I couldn't make up my mind.

I went through a phase where I was all about it. Six was and still is my favorite number because that's how many letters there are in it.  I used to write it on EVERYTHING. On my notebooks, my backpack, the walls, everything. I looked up what my name meant in every book I could find (this was pre-google, obviously). It means "flaming sword", for those who are curious. Which would may explain my temper and willingness to fight about anything. After high school, people started me calling me "Bren" or just "B". And I preferred it. Some people don't even know my full name is Brenda! When I had to pick a handle for my IG and Twitter accounts, I used one of my favorite hip hop songs, "Brown Skin Lady" and added the "B" to the front of that. At this point in my life, most people close to me call me "Bren" or "B". Few people call me Brenda, I usually hear it at work or in professional settings. I'm perfectly okay with either. :)  

So how does the BYoga come in? I usually add #BYoga after most of my yoga photos. I'm not the only one who uses that hashtag, but I like that I can go back and see my old yoga posts conveniently stored in a little place. Basically, its my first initial with "yoga" after it. What it symbolizes is that, for me, yoga is not just something you do, but something you're being.  It's a practice and a lifestyle (if you so choose). BYoga is "B" (me) practicing yoga. BYoga is anyone practicing yoga. BYoga is anyone who wants to BE a devoted yogi. BYoga is anyone wanting and pushing to BE a better person. BYoga is anyone and everyone! So, if you're practicing and sharing your practice on social media, feel free to use it! I'd love to see!