Reflection - Commitment

We have reflection sessions where we are asked questions and we write about it in our journals. Then we share our responses and discuss what we've written. Not only do we learn a lot about each other (we are in this together, right?), but we learn a lot about ourselves. 

A little over a week ago we were asked, "How are you feeling up to this point in training? What worries or difficulties are you having? How does the word 'commitment' apply to your training?" 

At this point in training, I am feeling pretty good about what I've learned. I have spent quite a bit of time practicing on my own, breaking down the postures and remembering the sequences. Still a little nervous about being able to fluidly teach in front of others, but's it’s coming. The only thing that I would say I have "worries" about is learning all of the sequences in the remaining 6 weeks. Time is moving rather quickly and I had to miss a few classes last week. I worry that I won't be able to stay on pace with what we are learning. 

I do have a concern on the effect that this training has on my personal practice. Since I began this training, I actually practice yoga LESS than I did before. Between a full-time job, 15-20 hours a week at the studio in training, and my personal life, I don't feel like I have any time to actually practice! I went from 4 classes a week, a few sessions at home, and a couple of hours at the gym to MAYBE two workouts a week. That is really a downer for me. In the last two weeks, my sister has gotten married, my mother was in town for a week, and I flew home for my best friend's baby shower. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, so when we've seen one another these last couple of weeks (he flew here last week and I there last weekend), we spent a lot of time trying to make time with our family and friends. I was also mysteriously sick for two days that knocked me on my ass. Needless to say, I am exhausted!! 

I know that I am not the only one taking this training that is feeling this way. We all have a life and are on our own journey. In April, I committed to this practice for my physical and mental health. It’s changed my life in so many ways for the better, I look forward to the time on my mat. With everything going on around me, I really have to keep that promise to myself and not let anything stand in the way. Committed to my practice, to my health, committed to this training, committed to myself. I am definitely being tested. 

I was so tired last night, and looking for a way out of the gym. I ask Jaime for motivation to which he responds, “Strength to do handstands!” Below is a photo from last night's handstand prep. Thanks, Amor.