Reflection: Change

"Teach what is appropriate for an individual."-Tirumalai Krishnamacharya, "Father of Modern Yoga"

Change has been a recurring theme in class lately. With yoga training officially coming to an end today and graduation on Wednesday, (eek!!), I can’t help but look back at the things that have changed from October to today.

Nine weeks ago, I walked into a room filled with women I had never met (other than Tess), and had no real expectations, other than deepening my practice and maybe learning a thing or two I could share with the people around me. It had been over 10 years since I practiced in a class. Other than that, I knew only what I had taught myself, from watching videos, reading and research. I had only been going to actual classes less than a month before signing up. I was still getting the hang of studio etiquette (How far away from my neighbor’s mat should I be? Can I bring my water bottle in the studio? Why is it so hot in here? Why is that person spraying their towel down?). Now, I feel at home at my studio, and have met so many incredible people. I have learned so much, not only about asana, but myself.

Physically, I have become stronger and more flexible. I am doing things I only dreamed about. At the beginning of the year I could not even hold myself up in a plank. Now I am kicking up into handstands (almost there!). I normally try to portray this even, sometimes cold demeanor. Not because I want to be seen as mean. I just have a hard time with vulnerability. Emotionally I have become softer, more compassionate. I might even show a little sweetness now and then (shh, don’t tell anyone). Mentally, I have become more focused and more aware of time. I am easily overwhelmed (something I still struggle with), but I’ve gotten better at channeling my energy in a way that allows me to think ahead and get things done. I also have become so much better with time management! I was chronically late everywhere, and now find myself actually arriving early!! Spiritually, I feel more connected. Although I’ve always considered myself as religious, somewhere along the way the connection faded a bit. I won’t get too into that, as I think it’s a little too personal, but it feels pretty good to have that again.

This yoga thing has been hard! It brings out things in you that you didn't know you had in you. It brings up emotions you may have not felt. It forces you to process your past and heal. It pushes you to your edge. But as a wise yoga teacher of mine once said, "If it does not challenge you, it will not change you." I can’t speak for the other women in my class, as each journey is unique. However, I can see the change in each and every one of them. I’m sure they would all agree that this experience has brought something of value to their lives. Today we make the transition from student to teacher…But I’m pretty sure the learning process has just begun.