Yogaversary

Happy Earth Day! So happy to be alive today. The older I get, the more I appreciate Mother Earth. We take for granted how amazing our planet is. Hug a tree, kiss the earth, plant some flowers and go for a walk outside today! Today also marks a more personal milestone for me…

The very first photo I posted about yoga on IG!

Exactly one year ago, I made a commitment to myself to practice yoga every day for 30 days. That turned into a beautiful practice and passion that would change my life forever. It may be a cheesy thing to some, but IDGAF so I'm gonna celebrate. Rather than go into a sappy story (I think there’s enough of those in this blog, no?), I thought I’d share 30 things that I have learned in this last year that may apply on and off of my mat. 

1.    Yoga is hard.

2.  “You are stronger than you think you are” has become my life motto and favorite thing to say.

3.   Headstand right out of the gate is not a smart idea. Master the basics first.

4.  Yoga is addicting.

5.   Asana (postures) is only one little part of yoga. Without the rest of it, you are just making shapes.

6.   You will fall. A LOT… And have the bumps, bruises, scratches and sore muscles to prove it.

7.   YOU HAVE TO BREATHE.

8.   A large amount of your time will be spent analyzing spots for a good “stop, drop, and yoga”.

9.    Loving your body and yourself will happen if you allow it.

10. There are never enough leggings (coming from someone who had NONE).

11.  Every practice is different, that’s what makes it beautiful.

12.   You will get really good at propping up your phone to record yourself  practicing.

13.  It’s okay to be vulnerable.

14.  What you put into your body makes a difference. Drink water and put veggies on your pizza.

15.  Responding and reacting are different. Think before you act.

16. At some point you won’t care who’s looking at you.

17.  You will see the entire world in a different light. A beautiful light.

18.  Your body is your friend, don’t work against it.  

19.  It is not a contest, don’t judge yourself based on what someone else is  doing. Don’t judge others, either.

20.  A fancy Instagram photo is cool and all, but yoga is what happens inside of you.

21.  Yoga is for everybody. And every body.

22.  You’ll find yourself “needing” to stretch. All. The. Time.

23.    Every single day will feel different in your body. What is easy today may be impossible tomorrow. It’s okay.

24.  Patience is essential.

25.    Being an asshole just doesn’t make sense anymore.

26.    You will find yourself drawn and repelled by people’s energies.

27.    Meditation will save your sanity. I promise.

28.    The practice will make you humble whether you like it or not.

29.     Patience is essential.

30.    Yoga is a practice that requires commitment. But you are still human. Remember that. 

Every time someone leaves awesome comments on my posts and photos, I am so grateful. When someone tells me they tried or want to try yoga because of me, I feel so moved. For those who have encouraged and supported me through this, thank you! For those who came along for the ride and put up with my yoga obsession, thank you! For those who have inspired me, thank you!  

Three Women and a Toddler: Days 1&2

The trip of a lifetime. That is the simplest way I could describe what the four days between the 14th and 17th was. A casual conversation about a road trip ended in some of the most amazing memories I could ever imagine. A coworker had mentioned going to Antelope Canyon in Arizona during the winter break. I looked it up and realized I had seen images of the canyon all over the place but never had known where it was. I don't believe in coincidences, so I felt it was fate when Tess brought up Antelope one day out of nowhere. My boyfriend even mentioned it soon after that! I mean, what are the odds, huh? Soon after that, Tess, Marisa and I decided we had to go and plans began to be made. No real itinerary, the only concrete plan was to make our way to Antelope  and see what else was out there. So, on Thursday, my comadre, friend and godson packed up a car and decided to visit the great state of Arizona.

Going through some crazy rock formations in Cali.

Day 1:

I had never been to Arizona. The only real idea I had of it was that it was nothing but desert. And that it was hot. Boy, was I wrong. The day started out nice and warm. San Diego was over 80 degrees when we left. Had a bit of a rough start getting on the road, but once we were all in the car and moving, our adventure began! We stopped at Sentinel Rest Area in Buckeye, AZ to stretch our legs and let Anakin (my godson), have a pee break. It was just as I had pictured it. Nothing but flat land and big rocks. We noticed that there were some rock towers out in the middle of the area behind the rest stop. I've seen lots of these before, and I believe they leave positive energies from their builders, so we decided to try our hand at our own. We each chose a rock and got to balancing. 

Ani LOVES trains. We sat and watched them pass.

Ani put the finishing touch on our energy tower.

Somewhere between Piedra and Theba, AZ we drove past a sign that said "Painted Rock Petroglyph Site". Not one to give up an opportunity to see some history, we hooked a detour. We didn't know what to expect, as the road led us 11 miles off of the highway. We even made jokes about it possibly being a trap for unsuspecting tourists... I've seen too many horror films. In the middle of the desert, was a giant pile of rocks. We weren't discouraged, we went out to investigate! A little pathway led around the site and we didn't see anything out of the ordinary. And then we came upon them: drawings in the rocks! There were a lot of these on one side of the mound of boulders. I looked into it when I got home and found out that most of these petroglyphs were thought to be of Hohokam descent. Some of the images were done by others passing through over the years, so some are way more recent than others. It was pretty neat, to witness what could very well be some of the first text messages!

Check out #CreepyTreeSeries on IG...

After fourteen LONG hours, we finally made it to Page. It was after 1AM by the time we had taken all of our stuff up to the room of our hotel and we were beat. Three completely different personalities locked in a car for that long with an energetic toddler left us more than ready for sleep. 

Day2:

The view from our room revealed what we had been dreading: Rain. It was also COLD! We had been checking the weather up until the day we left, and although there were chances of rain, it was supposed to be pretty much clear. Guess who didn't prepare for rain?? *raises hand* We took our chances and made our way to Antelope Canyon. 

The drive there was pretty amazing, I'm not used to seeing so many red mountains and skies as far as the eyes can see. It was so beautiful. We decided to do the Upper Canyon tour. There is a Lower Canyon but there are ladders you have to maneuver down, so with a little one it would have been hard. At the site for the tours, they let us know a storm was, in fact, coming, and that they would be stopping the tours until they could assess if they could hold another tour. We were so bummed. This is what we came to Arizona for! They told us to come back later, so we got back in the car and decided to drive around for a bit. No sooner has we left the parking lot when the downpour started. I saw a sign that said Antelope Point with some nice slabs of rock and thought it would be a great yoga photo op. Tess and I hopped out of the car and as I ran out to get into a posture, I felt little stings on my skin. It was hailing! After a quick snap, we bolted back to the car, soaked and covered in hail. 

Thanks to the coworker who told me about his recent trip to Antelope, we knew there was a spot called Horseshoe Bend we had to check out. Lucky for us, the rain and hail let up as we arrived. We hiked for about 15 minutes and came up to where a small group of people were gathered at an edge of a cliff (I honestly think that the weather kept a lot of people away and I'm really grateful for that, because I couldn't have imagined big crowds blocking all the amazing shots we got). As we got closer, there wasn't really anything in sight other than the people. I was not prepared for what we were about to see. When we got to the edge and looked out, it literally took my breath away...

The canyon opened up to the most incredible view. After a few minutes of just staring in awe, the photoshoot began. I must have taken a hundred photos. It was very surreal. Also, very scary! I don't remember ever being afraid of heights, but it was a little overwhelming to be that close to nothing but air. No railing, nothing to catch you if you slipped. You could even feel the pull of gravity when you got near the edge. I felt like a gust of wind could just suck me into the canyon! And then I became really emotional. I know, I know, what a sap, huh? I seriously feel like things happen for a reason and I think that we were supposed to see this place at the time we did. As happy and grateful as I was to have my friends with me to witness it, I really wished my parents and sister could be there too. As well as my boyfriend. It was just so beautiful, I wished I could share it with those closest to me. 

We saw condors flying over the canyon!

How badass is this?? 

"Wild Thing, I think I love you."

The photos really don't do this place justice. It was absolutely breathtaking. By the time we got back to the car, the weather began to look shitty again. When we returned to the Antelope Tours, they let us know they were closing and re-opening tomorrow. We still had Saturday, so we called it a day as far as sightseeing. Since I had only packed shorts, we found a Walmart to pick up some provisions and then had dinner before settling in for the evening. Stay tuned for day 3 of our trip! 

Hikes and Headstands

One of the things that still seem surreal to me is the fact that I live in San Diego. When you grew up waiting for the weekends your parents would pack up the car and take you to the beach, the idea of living in the city of perpetual perfect weather became quite the dream. The moment I got my license and was mobile, it became a regular thing to drive to the coast (Modesto, my hometown, is about 1 1/2 hours from San Francisco, two hours from Santa Cruz). Sometimes I wouldn't tell anyone, just ride solo and sit on the beach. I could never get all of the sand out of my car (or my mind).  

In 2009, I went to San Diego for the first time as an adult. I still remember sitting on the beach with my best friend, Wendy. We talked about how cool it would be to live in such a beautiful city.  Looking out at the ocean, I told her, "I'm going to live here." Five years later, my dream became reality.

It's been over a year and a half now, and it still feels weird when I say I live in San Diego. I was less than 3 miles from the beach up until a few months ago, when I made a move a little south. Still in SD County, and still a short drive to the beach. Better yet, I actually work across the street from the ocean. No, really! I work in La Jolla, and just down the road is the GORGEOUS Pacific Ocean. As if that couldn't be topped, there is a hiking trail that leads you down to the beach!! I can leave my car at the office, put on my sneakers and headphones and head down to my happy place. It's become one of my favorite things to do here. I've been waiting for daylight savings time to get some daylight back in the evenings. Soon as it did, I headed for the trail...

Inversions are way hard on the sand! 

Was blessed to have a buddy come with me this time. I have seen everything from snakes to bunnies on the trails, amazing foliage, and gorgeous views. I love enjoying the sunshine, playing in the sand, feeling the crisp water, hearing the waves. My pockets (or whoever is with me who has them, sorry Marisa!) end up full of shells, stones and sea glass. And the sunset??? All I can say is, "WOW." We hiked, laughed, listened to music and even struck a few poses. I'll never take for granted this beautiful place I get to call home.

The potential of falling is always a bit scary, after a few tries, Marisa and I got a good shot! 

Reflection: Elevate

It has now been about 3 weeks since Elevate (the post-YTT mentoring program) ended at the studio. I'm a creature of habit, so trying to get into a new routine. I have to have a structured schedule and plan in advance. Things like work, events, working out, house chores etc., has to be routine and I need to know exactly what my week looks like ahead of time. Borderline OCD, I know. But I'm a hot mess if it isn't this way.

Looking back on it, it didn't quite start out how I imagined it would be, but I am extremely grateful on how it all turned out and the experience definitely changed the way I felt about teaching. When it first started, it seemed a little disorganized. This was only the second time the studio offered a program like this, so I know there are always bugs to work out. I like to know what to expect, what hours were required of me, and so on (please see my OCD comment above). It wasn't confirmed what exact day we would begin teaching or who would be teaching what. There were 6 of us, so we split up into two groups of 3, one to teach Saturday and one to teach Sunday.We also had to adjust/assist in at least two of the YTT leaders' classes a week.  But as life seems to do, sometimes things came up. Someone would have trouble teaching on their day and had to switch. Or we wouldn't know our parts until really close to the weekend and sometimes it was really confusing. Have you ever been in a group text with 8 women before?? Ohmahgawd. 

I also thought that we would get some studio time with the leaders of the YTT to do some more practice teaching (like we did in YTT), but that didn't really happen. After a couple of weeks and expressing some concerns, some of the kinks were ironed out. We got to spend some one-on-one time with the leaders after their classes to go over adjustments and after our community class teaching, we sat down with them for some excellent feedback, which I think made a world of difference for me. It helped me become more comfortable in the studio. I got to really understand a lot of the postures and how they worked in different body types even further through all of the assisting/adjusting. Some of my jitters have gone away (emphasis on SOME). I learned a lot from our YTT leaders, now mentors. Even better, I made some really good friends in my fellow YTT graduates and met some really great people form the current YTT and regular class goers. 

The poster for the Spring YTT on the side of my yoga studio. I'm famous!! Haha! (I'm in the middle of the "N")

Practicing handstands in the studio with Tess.

Margi and I adjusting during a Live DJ yoga class (glow bracelets!).

Tess, Christina and I after teaching one of our classes. Post savasana silliness. 

I'm hyping myself up to schedule a mock with the studio owner and one of the YTT leads. Mocking is basically an interview to teach there. An audition, if you will. I'll have to mock teach to them. If that works out, I may be actually teaching some classes! No rush, yet. April is set to be an extremely busy month. A road trip to the desert, a flight to the bay, and another move are on the calendar. But after that, I may just give it a shot! Exciting to think about!

Mallory's going away dinner. (From left to right: Anakin, Tess, Kayla, Christina, Mallory, me, Margi, Nika and Mac)

Reflection: Progress

What does progress mean to you?
By definition, progress is the forward or onward movement to a destination; to move forward or onward in space or time. So if yoga is the practice of uniting body, mind and spirit (my extremely loose definition of yoga), how does one measure progress? How do I know if I am progressing? If I am getting better? If the path of yoga leads to enlightenment, how do I know if I'm there? Will I ever get there? How do I even know if I'm doing this yoga thing right?  I can start with what you can actually see...

The photo above shows me doing side plank in the exact same spot (Zzyzx Road in the Mojave Desert) four months apart. This was so hard for me. In fact, I dreaded it in practice. But I kept at it. I modified until I had built the strength. 

My Dharma Wheel was a gift from my boyfriend for Christmas. In December, that was the first time trying it. That "a-ha" moment when my shoulders opened up and I could press into forearm wheel was awesome. 

When I first got back into yoga, I was pretty proud of my backbend. It was one of the "difficult" postures that I was able to do fairly easily. I didn't realize until recently how different my bends look after months of practice. 

According to these photos, you can actually SEE the improvement in my form, strength and balance. You can see that my postures look different, maybe even more "refined". But every time I get onto my mat, it is a totally different experience. Some days I feel strong. Some days I feel flexible. A posture I do every single day may suddenly feel difficult, or I may hold an elusive posture for that one second and then not be able to get into it again for a long time. Sometimes I learn something new in a pose I thought I had down and suddenly it becomes this new journey. No matter how often or how much I practice, it is always new. 

What you CAN'T see is how my muscles and joints and fascia have changed to allow these movements to take place. You can't see my breath, how I control and deepen it during my practice. You cannot see my focus, my concentration. You cannot see my thoughts. You cannot see my emotions. You cannot see how yoga has opened my eyes to the world around me and made me aware of my actions and behaviors. You cannot see the peace I feel inside.

Recently I had someone ask me what yoga has done for me. I rattled off the obvious physical benefits of yoga. But it was everything else that I think really hit home. I am calmer. I am more patient. I am more confident. I am more at peace with myself. I am kinder to myself. I am proud of myself. I am closer to God and closer to the amazing people in my life who support and love me for who I am. I am stronger. I am more vulnerable. I am more present. I am more forgiving. I am grateful.

No two journeys are the same. No two practices are the same. That is what makes yoga so beautiful. You are the only one who can measure your practice. And even when you feel like you have reached a goal, you realize you have so much left to attain. There is always room for improvement, always room to grow. It just gets better and better. 

Geeking Out

I meant to post this back in February, but, oh well...

I swear, I should have started Instagram when I had the chance. Before all of these photo sharing live feeds, all I ever did was post photos. Since the invention of the camera phone I have been OBSESSED with taking photos. The best thing about it is that I get to choose what I see (mostly). I have the entire world at my fingertips. Lately, my feed is filled with three things, my loved ones, makeup, and yoga. Lots of yoga. 

It's also opened up a whole world of people that I may have never been in contact with or knew existed! A wonderful community of supportive, body-positive yogis, people who aren't conforming to what society tells them they should look like, who are improving lives and changing the world, one Tree Pose at a time. Two of them in particular, Dana and Jessamyn. These two fantastic yogis are proving that there is no such thing as cookie cutter "yoga body" and that feeling comfortable in your own skin is the most valuable thing a person can own. When I came across these women, I was floored. They were doing the things I wanted to do! I don't just mean the beautiful postures they were posting (which are amazing), but they were inspiring people everywhere! I felt like for what is probably the first time in my life, there were other women just like me out there. Little did I know, that I would have the chance to not only meet them, but to take their class! 

A fellow yogi I've connected with through social media, Luisa (check out her IG and amazing journey here), had purchased an inversion workshop taught by both of them. Dana and Jessamyn were touring and holding workshops on the west coast. Unfortunately, Luisa could not attend. So she held a little contest for it. As luck would have it, I would be the one chosen to get it! I was stoked! 

I live in San Diego, and the class was in Riverside, so I made the two hour drive on a Sunday to be there. Since I was worried about traffic, and way too excited, I arrived super early. I parked in front of the studio and fidgeted with my mat and towel in the car to burn a few minutes. When I finally made my way inside, it was just Dana and Jessamyn, setting up for class and sorting through some yoga pants. Right off of the bat, they smiled at me and welcomed me in. I mildly geeked out, I couldn't believe I was about to take a class with women who each have over 150k followers! Women who I've watched videos and read about on HuffPost, Buzzfeed and Cosmo! Of course, having no shame, I told them this. And Jessamyn says "Girl, we are the most normal people you will ever meet." The best part? They were. 

Their workshop was awesome. After we warmed up with a flow, we did some exercises and a lot of prep postures to get our bodies ready for inversions, we played around with headstands and different ways to get into them. Even a little handstand prep. We didn't have a wall or anything, so falling was very real. I was already doing inversions, and was feeling more and more comfortable, but having someone break down the posture and show you what needs to be engaged and aligned to make it happen totally opened up my eyes! This totally kicked up my headstand game! Even though the studio I go to has an awesome and welcoming community of yogis, being in a room with other women of all shapes and sizes, women who were all in different places with their practice, women who didn't give a shit what people thought about them, was so refreshing. As sore and tired as I was, I was sad to see it end. 

I am so grateful to Luisa for being behind me meeting them. I look forward to the day her and I meet as well! 

If you want to learn more about these wonderful women, links to their websites and IG accounts are below. 

http://jessamynstanley.com/

https://www.instagram.com/mynameisjessamyn/

http://www.nolatreesyoga.com/

https://www.instagram.com/nolatrees/

Reflection: Within You

Sunday was our last community class for our extension program. I was paired with a different friend this time. Her and I worked pretty seamlessly together, I really enjoyed sharing a class with different people and seeing how each of our personalities impacts the class. My boyfriend flew in for the weekend, and I was pretty damn nervous about him taking class. This was the first time he actually witnessed me teaching. He also didn't know he would influence how I ended class that day. I have to say, I felt it went great. 

"Through yoga we are able to see what we are capable of, to see who we want to be, and see who we truly are. Someone close once said to me, 'You are stronger than you think you are.' Unknowingly, this became my personal mantra, in and out of the studio. Everything you could ever want or need in life is accessible to you because everything you are looking for already resides within you."

I still can't believe that I am a yoga teacher. Like, actually guiding fellow yogis in a class. A year ago, it was just something that I thought "would be cool" to do. Now I have the tools I need to be able to share my love for yoga with others. There is still so much to learn, so much to do. I feel like I've only hit the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this. But I can confidently say, "I am a yoga teacher". Maybe it was always there, inside of me, waiting for me to find it.