The Best Birthday Ever

I cannot tell you how full my heart feels... These last two weeks have been amazing in so many ways. I drove back home to Modesto for the holidays to be with friends and family. I got to spend my birthday weekend with a bunch of my friends and pig out on pizza and beer. It's sort of become a tradition to have as many of us as possible be together at least once around this time of year. To have a night to reminisce and enjoy each other's company was the perfect way to start my vacation. That's all I really wanted for my birthday. That Sunday, my actual birthday, mi Amor took me to San Francisco for the day and we had brunch on a rooftop overlooking the city. Even on a rainy day, it was absolutely breathtaking. He indulged my nerd side and took me to the California Academy of Sciences. Then for dinner he took me to this incredibly romantic place. I didn't want the evening to end. I love my birthday because I am reminded how much I am loved and supported. I am so grateful. I am so happy.

With that said... My only other wish was to do what I set out to do 8 months ago. This photo was taken the night before my birthday. Although for a few seconds, I held an effin handstand! Considering my tummy was full of pizza and beer, I was able to do it! I look at the photo and still can't really believe that's me. I did it. Nothing that is worth having comes easy. This last year has had many challenges but many great experiences. It has truly been the best year of my life. My journey is just beginning. I am so excited for everything yet to come!

An Open Letter to the Reach Yoga Fall YTT Class of 2015

My fellow students: Christina, Margi, Tess, Kayla, Lauren, Mallory, Nika, Stephanie, Helene, Ariel, Yoli, Claudia, and Roberta,

Can you believe it? We did it! What a long and crazy road, huh? Each and every one of you did so well and I am so proud of you. To think we couldn't even speak in front of each other that first time! Now we can teach, baby! You have all worked so hard, and your dedication to this endeavor doesn't go unnoticed. The amount of change and progress we have made is amazing. I really am not looking forward to having this end! 

I am also not looking forward to having this end because it means that we won't be able to see one another the way we have been used to these couple of months. Pretty soon, we will all go back to our lives, some of will be moving away, getting new jobs, having babies (Lauren!), busy with their families and work... Although I'm pretty sure none of our lives will ever be the same after this. Even though I sincerely hope that we can all find a way to stay connected, I know that life has this way of being, well... life. But I will always be a phone call, text message, Instagram comment, Facebook message away. So don't think you're getting away from me that easily.

I told all of you how yoga has given me a home. Having moved so many times in the last few years and being away from my hometown and the people there hasn't always been easy. Many of you are very familiar with that. Yoga has given me a sense of belonging, a sense of comfort. In a crazy world, I always have a place of peace. And thanks to you, my home also has a family. It is the most amazing feeling to have a support system here. I am so grateful every time I see your beautiful faces, I truly am surrounded by genuinely good people. 

Please know that each and every single one of you has a special place in my heart, and I love you in a way that cannot simply be expressed in words. 

My Darling Comadre Tess,

If someone had told me that I would meet some feisty little Aussie who would come into my life like a tornado and I would be driving to Vegas at the last minute to be at your wedding and the godmother of your son and then we would become yoga teachers together, I would have laughed my ass off. Who knew that a chance meeting would take us here?? Thank you for lighting the fire under my bum that made me finally make the jump to San Diego. Thank you for encouraging me to do this and being my partner in crime. 

I am very proud of you, not only for yoga, but because you set your mind to things and do them! There isn't a thing you can't do! I am very blessed to have you in my life. 

The owner of Reach Yoga in Pacific Beach, Matt,

Thank you for giving so many people a place to share their love of yoga. You have a beautiful studio and have created an amazing community of people. A place I can call home. 

Our incredible YTT Leaders, Christina and Meganne,

Thank you. For sharing your wisdom, your time, your energy, and your souls with all of us. If it weren't for your passion and dedication, none of us would be here today. I have truly enjoyed this experience and look forward to what is still to come! 

In life, we all have those moments of uncertainty, where we might ask ourselves, "What am I doing here?" "What is my purpose?”. If you ever feel that way, think about this: You have changed my life in the most positive way. And the lives of many people. I am forever grateful and it was truly an honor to learn from you. 

The divine light in me truly sees, loves and honors the divine light in every single one of you. Namaste. 

Reflection: Change

"Teach what is appropriate for an individual."-Tirumalai Krishnamacharya, "Father of Modern Yoga"

Change has been a recurring theme in class lately. With yoga training officially coming to an end today and graduation on Wednesday, (eek!!), I can’t help but look back at the things that have changed from October to today.

Nine weeks ago, I walked into a room filled with women I had never met (other than Tess), and had no real expectations, other than deepening my practice and maybe learning a thing or two I could share with the people around me. It had been over 10 years since I practiced in a class. Other than that, I knew only what I had taught myself, from watching videos, reading and research. I had only been going to actual classes less than a month before signing up. I was still getting the hang of studio etiquette (How far away from my neighbor’s mat should I be? Can I bring my water bottle in the studio? Why is it so hot in here? Why is that person spraying their towel down?). Now, I feel at home at my studio, and have met so many incredible people. I have learned so much, not only about asana, but myself.

Physically, I have become stronger and more flexible. I am doing things I only dreamed about. At the beginning of the year I could not even hold myself up in a plank. Now I am kicking up into handstands (almost there!). I normally try to portray this even, sometimes cold demeanor. Not because I want to be seen as mean. I just have a hard time with vulnerability. Emotionally I have become softer, more compassionate. I might even show a little sweetness now and then (shh, don’t tell anyone). Mentally, I have become more focused and more aware of time. I am easily overwhelmed (something I still struggle with), but I’ve gotten better at channeling my energy in a way that allows me to think ahead and get things done. I also have become so much better with time management! I was chronically late everywhere, and now find myself actually arriving early!! Spiritually, I feel more connected. Although I’ve always considered myself as religious, somewhere along the way the connection faded a bit. I won’t get too into that, as I think it’s a little too personal, but it feels pretty good to have that again.

This yoga thing has been hard! It brings out things in you that you didn't know you had in you. It brings up emotions you may have not felt. It forces you to process your past and heal. It pushes you to your edge. But as a wise yoga teacher of mine once said, "If it does not challenge you, it will not change you." I can’t speak for the other women in my class, as each journey is unique. However, I can see the change in each and every one of them. I’m sure they would all agree that this experience has brought something of value to their lives. Today we make the transition from student to teacher…But I’m pretty sure the learning process has just begun.

 

Just around the corner

Holy shit! 

Teacher Training ends on Wednesday, the 16th! That means I only have 3 more official classes left! It's pretty surreal. As far as I've come, I still feel there is so much to learn! I'm a little worried about getting in all the required hours (200). I will be able to accrue them even after training is over if I am behind, just won't get my certificate until then. Our "final" is going to be a written test and all of us teaching a community class to our friends and family. Talk about intimidating!! 

I feel ready, though. I mean, other than totally forgetting what I'm supposed to do and failing miserably, what could go wrong, right? 

Surrender Series

“Always say 'yes' to the present moment... Surrender to what is. Say 'yes' to life - and see how life starts suddenly to start working for you rather than against you.” – Eckhart Tolle

Inhale, look forward and step through to a seat.

Exhale, Seated Forward Fold (Paschimottanasana). Extend your legs out in front of you, lift your arms to lengthen your spine. Hinge forward and clasp for whatever is accessible to you (thighs, shins, ankles or feet)

-Keep a generous bend in the needs to release your low back

-Draw your navel into your spine

-Draw your shoulders down your spine

-Inhale, lengthen. Exhale, fold deeper

Inhale, rise. Flatten your feet on the mat, extend your arms and slower lower onto your back.

Exhale, Bridge Pose (Setu Bandha Sarvangasana). Walk your heels towards your glutes, hips-width distance apart. Extend your arms long, press your palms into the earth. With the strength of your core, lift your hips away from the mat.

-Spiral your thighs inward

-Use the power of your thighs and core to lift your midsection

-Scoot your shoulders underneath you, option to clasp your hands together

-Draw your chin away from your neck

Exhale, slowly lower yourself to the ground. Inhale.

Exhale, Reclining Bound Angle Pose (Supta Baddha Konasana). Bring the soles of your feet to touch, butterfly your knees open.

-Option to place blocks under your knees if you are feeling too much sensation

-Soften the muscles of the inner thighs

-Place your palms face up, or your right hand on your belly, left hand on your chest

Close your knees like a book. Pull your knees to your chest.

Option for a second round of Bridge Pose or:

Exhale, Wheel Pose (Urdhva Dhanurasana). Lie on your back, soles of feet on the mat, hips-width distance apart. Place your palms alongside your head, fingers facing your feet. With the strength of your core, lift your hips towards the sky. Push into your palms to straighten your arms.

-Drive your heels into the ground

-Strengthen through the quads and hamstrings

-Pull your sternum outward

-Maintain a neutral gaze

Exhale, slowly lower yourself onto the ground by placing the crown of your head on the ground first, then the rest of your body. Inhale.

Exhale, Reclining Bound Angle Pose (Supta Baddha Konasana).

Exhale, Happy Baby Pose (Ananda Balasana). Draw your knees into your chest. Pull your knees wide into your armpits. Reach for the insides of your feet, calves or thighs.

-Glue your spine to the mat

-Use the strength of your arms to gently pull your knees towards you

-Gently rock side to side to massage the muscles around the lower spine

Inhale, hug your knees to your chest. Interlace your fingers around your right shin and extend your left leg long. Draw your right knee up and around your ribcage.

Exhale, Supine Twist (Jathara Parivartanasana). Guide your right knee across your body to the left. Roll your ribcage towards the right and pin your right shoulder to the earth.

-Stack your hips on top of each other, allow gravity to draw the right knee down

-Extend your right arm like a wing

-Draw your gaze to the right

Inhale, draw your knees to your chest. Repeat on the other side.

Inhale, Wind Removing Pose (Pavanamuktasana). Pull entire body into a ball. 

Draw your knees into chest, wrap your arms around your shins, if accessible. Squeeze every muscle in your body.  

Exhale, Corpse Pose (Savasana). Release all of your muscles, lie flat on the ground.

-Allow your toes to fall out

-Relax every muscle in the body

-Tuck the shoulders in to lift the chest slightly

-Release ujjayi breath

-Relax your jaw and close your eyes

-Surrender

Spine and Hips

“When people age, they tend to contract and pull into themselves. But yoga, and especially the spinal work we do in yoga, can actually reverse the aging process.” –Baron Baptiste, “Journey into Power”

Inhale, High Plank. Shift your weight forward, top of a push up.

Exhale, slowly lower yourself to the ground. Untuck your toes, zipper your legs 

together. Bring your arms by your sides. Exhale your stale breath.

Inhale, Locust Pose (Salabhasana). Peel your legs and chest away from the ground.

-Engage the muscles in your legs and back to continue to lift

-Squeeze your shoulder blades together and press your hands closer together

- Lengthen through the back of your neck, gaze downward

Exhale, release. Rest your left cheek on the ground. Option to windshield your legs back and forth to release any tension in the low back.

Inhale, return your chin to center. Kick your feet up towards your glutes and reach for the outsides of your feet.

Exhale your stale breath.

Inhale, Bow Pose (Dhanurasana). Kick into the hands to lift your chest and thighs off of the ground.

-Squeeze your knees close together

-Soften your back muscles

-Spread your collar bones, keep your gaze towards the mat

Exhale, release. Rest your right cheek on the ground.

Inhale, return your chin to center, press palms under shoulders and push into Neutral Tabletop.

Stand on your knees, shoulder-width distance apart. Maintain length in your spine.

Exhale, Camel Pose (Ustrasana). Roll your shoulders down and back, placing your palms on your sacrum, fingers facing downward. Pull the navel in, and push your hips outward. Trace your gaze up and towards the back wall to create a bend in your spine.

-Option to tuck your back toes for more support

-Do not dump the weight of your head back, maintain integrity in the neck

-Squeeze your shoulder blades together

-Push your sternum towards the sky

Inhale, slowly rise

Exhale, Hero’s Pose (Virasana).

Inhale, shift into Neutral Tabletop.

Exhale, Downward Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana)

Inhale your right leg high. Sweep it through and place your right knee behind your right wrist. Fold your leg to draw your right ankle to your left wrist (a “7” shape).

Exhale, Half Pigeon (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana). Extend your left leg long behind you.

-Shift your weight onto the top of your left thigh

-Option to place a block under your right hip for support

-Walk your fingertips back next to your hips to lengthen your spine

-Slowly hinge forward to rest on the palms, forearms or forehead

-Option: If this causes pain, come onto your back for Supine Figure Four

          -Rest the sole of your left foot on the mat

          -Bring your right ankle on top of your left knee (“7” shape)

          -You can stay here or use our hands to lift your left thigh and deepen your stretch.

Inhale, come back onto your palms. Tuck the toes of your left food and activate your leg.

Exhale, One-Legged Downward Facing Dog. Sweep the leg back through and create circles with the leg, pedal out the feet, whatever feels good as fresh blood rushes 

back into the leg.

Return to Downward Facing Dog. Repeat Half Pigeon on the other side. 

Hips and Hamstrings

“It is only when the correct practice is followed for a long time, without interruptions and with a quality of positive attitude and eagerness, that it can succeed.” 
― Patañjali, Yoga-Sutras

Beginning at Downward Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana):

Inhale your right leg high

Exhale, Low Lunge

-spin your left foot flat-

Inhale, Warrior I (Virabhadrasana I). Reach your arms overhead.

-Place your hands on your hips and pull your right hip back and your left hip forward

-Shorten or widen your stance to allow you to square your hips

-Once you are stable, find your full expression

Exhale, Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II).

-Find your heel-to-arch alignment-

Inhale, Star Pose. Bring your heels in and your toes out. Reach towards the sky.

-Straighten your legs

-Tuck your tailbone inward

-Energetically reach with your hands

Exhale, Horse Pose. Bring your palms to heart center. Sink low into your hips.

-Point your toes out

-Externally rotate your knees

-Straighten your spine and tuck your tailbone in

-Option: Place your hands on your thighs and dip your shoulders on each side a few times

Inhale, Star Pose.

Exhale, Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II)

Inhale, straighten your front leg

Exhale, Triangle Pose (Trikonasana). Reach deeply forward, then down with your right arm. Reach up with your left arm.

-Option: Place your bottom hand on a block for support

-Strengthen through the back leg and side body

-Squeeze your shoulder blades together

-Reach energetically upward

-Open your chest towards the sky

-Gaze at your raised hand

Inhale, slowly rise

Exhale, Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II).

Inhale, Reverse Warrior (Parivrtta Virabhadrasana).

Exhale, High-to-Low Plank (Chaturanga Dandasana)

Inhale, Upward Facing Dog (Urdhva Mukha Svanasana)

Exhale, Downward Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasna)

*Repeat on the other side (At horse pose on the other side, option to inhale, rise to Star Pose, exhale, sink into Horse Pose for 3-5 breaths)

Reflection: Hunger

Hunger has been a theme in a couple of my classes this week. "What are you hungry for?" "What drives you?" "What do you want to be known for?"

I want to be known for being purposive. For having the kind of determination that lets nothing stand in the way of accomplishing everything I set my mind to. I would also want to be known for being loving. In a world so full of hate and anger, I want to be remembered as a person with an endless amount of love. I want to inspire.  

When I think about what I am hungry for and what drives me, the one thing that resonates the most with me is the desire to find direction. To find a purpose. For quite a few years, I knew I wanted to move to San Diego. I wanted to live in the beautiful city of sunshine and beaches. I wasn't sure what I wanted for myself in the future, I just knew that I wanted it in San Diego. That became a reality in August of last year when I finally made the move. But I got here and then was like, "Now what?".  I had to work to survive, so I took an administrative job at a university and left the familiar world of banking I had been in for 12 years. Although I am SO grateful to have employment, and reap many benefits of working where I do (a gym, a pool, 5 minutes from the beach and hiking trails, a flexible schedule, working with two of my best friends), I don't feel any satisfaction from my actual job. Even among the things I've learned in the year I've been here, I know that this is not for me.

Since I was new to the city, I also signed up as a ride share driver. It was a great way to learn my way around (Thank you, GPS) and see parts of SD I would have never on my own. I got to meet and have many a great conversation with the myriad of people who entered my car. It was actually a lot of fun and a good experience. On my free time I would play tourist. It was all fun for a while, until one day I stopped and realized that I was missing something. I didn't have a passion. I didn't have that one thing that pushes you to be a better person. That challenging, fulfilling thing that you work at because you love it. I felt like my life was at a standstill. Enter Yoga.

From the moment I stepped back onto that mat - the same purple one I've had since the age of 19 - I knew that this was going to be a life-long path for me. I also knew teacher training was something for me. Improving my personal practice was the main reason for it. I didn't want to necessarily become a full-time instructor. But I knew that I wanted to share this with the people around me. Yoga has changed my life and made me a kinder and better person, I want others to feel that way, too. In order to feel confident doing that, I need to learn this thing inside and out.

Fast forward to now. Have I found that direction? Yup. Have I found that purpose? You betcha. Have I found that passion? Absolutely. But what do I do with it? Where is it taking me? The more questions I answer, the more questions I have. Maybe that's the point. Yoga is a never-ending journey, at least in my opinion. Has anyone ever actually reached enlightenment? Has anyone ever mastered every posture? Who knows? And if they did, what did they do after that? Maybe the point is to continue being hungry for more. Forever learning. Forever improving. Forever moving forward.